Be thoroughly convinced before the marriage.Written by Karo Oforofuo (Notes) on Monday, 21 February 2011 at 21:51

Good afternoon everyone. I just came across an article I wrote 2 years back and I thought I should share it here. I hope you gain something from it.

Be Thoroughly Convinced Before the Marriage

Human beings are just what they are; HUMAN. And they can go an extra mile doing crazy things all in the name of love. In most cases, it's lust and the result is always "Had I known."

I'l give an example with two stories but before that, let me ask; what makes a guy/girl pick a wrong life partner? Could it be because of insecurity? Hm...May be haste or blindness because majorly, lust...oh sorry! I mean love is blind. You have a partner who is not perfect but he/she cares the world about you. No! You're not satisfied because there is this other guy/girl out there who does it better. "How do you know?... And please tell us, what makes you so sure?"

Now picture this; a man is ready to settle down but doesn’t want it to be with his present girl. One day, he goes out and just in front of him is a beautiful lady with a well shaped body like that of Beyonce's and bosoms as pronounced and inviting like that of Mercy Johnson's. She's flinging those gorgeous hips and having a swell distracting the guys in the street. She looks easy to approach and so he walks up to her, rap into a rhythm like he was having a contest with Eminem.

With such creative flows, she accepts the music. A week into the relationship, they both end up in bed and the guy is like "wooow, the sex is GREAT!" Without thinking twice, he proposes marriage and a month later, they tie the knot. 5 months into marriage, our dear man finds out he has made a big mistake in his choice of a wife. Oh...please don't get it wrong, her body is still great and so is the sex but you see, wifey can't cook and she's not willing to learn.
"Go get a maid, am not your slave." that's always her response to the issue of cooking when it is raised. What else? He discovers that his dear wife is a drunk and most annoying of all, she flirts around with other men. Within a year of marriage, he starts to consider divorce. The pain he's going through makes him remember that his best friend Jude advised him against rushing into marriage with a woman he barely knows. Also, he remembers Jennifer, his ex-girl friend. Oh Jennifer! .....she was a complete woman even without the extra hips and she cared so much for him. But you see, he was a player then and so he treated her as he would a P.s pad(use and dump), no value attached but the game was fun.

I once read a true life story about a wealthy man who married the girl of his dreams. She was a well known celebrity who he had always wanted and dreamt about. After the wedding ceremony, they boarded a ship to another city for their honeymoon. While still on board during the short journey, the man was so excited and kept talking about how he had dreamt of this day, how he's wife will be home to welcome him back from work, how many kids they'll have and how they'll look after them, how they'll cook meals together, and so on. The wife looked at her dreaming husband and laughed to her satisfaction before bluntly telling him " I do not intend to get pregnant, it'll put me out of shape and besides, I hate children."
Not only that, she was not interested in spoiling her well manicured nails with cooking meals and neither was she interested in being around to welcome her husband back from work. But why should she when there are parties, shows and dinners to attend? She is a celebrity for crying out loud and she intends to remain so. She will not change overnight. The man was shocked to the bone. He tried everything possible to make her change her mind but, she refused. In the long run, the man started sleeping out. He was frustrated. He had no children; his wife was always away for parties, shows e.t.c Infact, show rooms became her home. The marriage was later dissolved and the man moved on with his life.

This is on one side. It is a two way thing because it also affects women. There are women who suffer physically and emotionally due to their husband's infidelity, but what can they do? Some even suffer violence and are now used to being punching bags. The truth is this, once you've gone to the altar and said "I do," that’s it. Heaven does not recognize divorce so clear it out of your mind and be careful who you choose for a life partner.

If a man or woman does not exhibit the major qualities you want in a mate, please take my advice and BACK OFF! But, if the person does have the qualities, then don't take him/her for granted. Water the relationship because the grass is only green when you water it. Both parties have to be willing to make it work. If you think the other side of the fence is greener, try going there. I can only pray that you come back whole and sane. Good luck