For Women- How to Keep Your Relationship (3)

What Should You Do?

There are a lot of things written in chapter two about what turns men off from their women. If you are guilty of any one of the above, then you are doing something wrong.

Life will be much better and easier if you can take time to work on your short comings. For example, you know men love respect so make sure you give it to him. There was a girl who once talked about her mother's attitude to her father on a social forum. She said whenever her father took certain decisions; it was hard for anyone to convince him to change his mind. Usually, he got the support of his wife and that made it even harder for anyone to try convincing him. His wife never argued publicly with him on any issue. Now, after the meeting where his decisions on the all important issues have been announced, his wife would prepare him a special dinner and after eating she would take him to the room. They spend an hour or more locked up in the room but when they come out, the look on their father's face is mostly that of joy or satisfaction. The woman has succeeded in changing her husband’s mind and still keeping him happy. He then turns back on his harsh decisions and gives the children free will to do what they wanted with his full support.

This girl asked her mother how she is always able to change the father’s heart without causing quarrels or raising voices in arguments. Her mother replied that respect was the key. When you respect a man both in secret and public, even in front of his children and family members, he would always treasure you. It is because of this that she never challenged her man or argued with him publicly, even if it’s just her kids around. The man feels respected and in turn he showers his wife with love, care and understanding.

If all women applied the above to their relationships, there will be fewer problems.

How about your bed room skills? Do you just lie there and wait for him to do all the work? Sex is something that should be enjoyed by both partners which means you must work towards satisfying each other. It is a two way thing.

Sports: Men love sports / games of any kind and being with you is not going to change that in any way.  The sports could be Football, Base ball, Hand ball, Car racing, Cricket, Basket ball, playing Video games etc.

Instead of reacting negatively to his love for sports, choose to either join him or just let him be. Joining him is even better because it strengthens your bond.

Now, I am going to emphasize here that if your husband or boy friend’s gaming / sporting activities make you angry to the point of picking up quarrels with him or calling him names, then you have started the process of infidelity. He will gradually begin to look out for girls who don’t mind the games and who will even sit to watch or play them with him. So my dear, have fun with the games and stop complaining because that may just be your one way ticket out of his house and life.

Family: As a wife or girl friend, remember that you only recently came into the family picture and depending on what happens, you may or may not remain in the picture. But even then, try to mix with his family and take them as yours. This act alone will move him deeply, but if you go about complaining about how terrible his family is, then you certainly are not ready to be in, or remain in the picture. Most men put their families first, that means, they do not joke with them. Even if his family members are weird to you, you must be ready to accept them or get kicked out. No man, I repeat, no man will choose you over his family and even if he does, it’s only briefly. Home is always home and when he is ready, he would leave you and go home. It is your choice to go with him or lose him.

In all of these, you have to observe. Because I know firsthand from experience that there are some men out there who cannot be pleased with only one woman, no matter what she does. If you notice that your man no longer cares for you and your needs, no longer shows you love as he used to, then that stare at another woman or unnecessary complains is definitely more than just a stare or a complain. But if he still loves you and cares for you and he shows this every day, then there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Home Maintenance Skills: Do everything possible to sharpen your home maintenance skills. This is very important because apart from keeping our home tidy and free of bacterials, men usualy can't stand a dirty woman. They will run away in the opposite direction. Do not e lazy about keeping your home clean, it is an attribute that every man loves to see in his woman.

Appearance: No matter what, always try to look your best. Your hair should be well maintained and dressed; your fingers nails should be manicured, your clothes should be in shape etc. Dressing beautifully has nothing to do with dressing Nude. If you portray yourself as a prostitute, men will see and take you as that. There are sexy dresses that are still decent.

Lies / Gossip: Women gossip but, not all women do that. For you to be a non gossiper, avoid women who do such. They are only there to ruin other people's lives with their mouth. If your man knows that you mix with gossipers, he will tag you as one and that means he will never feel free to tell you his deepest secrets or challenges. A man who cannot share his secret with his woman will soon go out looking for a partner he can fearlessly share with.

Totally Dependent: for no reason should you depend on your man for your every need. Get a job or start a small business. Take care of your own financial problems and you will earn your man's respect. He will know that he has a partner who is able to share the financial burdens with him.

Nagging: Nagging is one thing that can make even a calm man almost feel like slapping you. I know because I used to do that a lot to my brothers and they didn't take it kindly. If you must complain about any thing, do it in a polite manner and then let it be. Don't think he didn't hear you the first time, he did, loud and clear.

Materialistic: If you are materialistic, that means you are probably very poor at saving and you would jump into relationships just for the financial benefits. Please watch it. Having all the cars, houses, clothes, shoes etc in the world will not guarantee you a happy relationship or a great financial future. Tone it down, invest your money wisely and spend it wisely. Also, don't give your man a reason to believe that you are only in the relationship because of the material gains. He will never take you seriously.

After all said, I want to hope that you will do whatever is necessary to make your relationship work. For the married couples, do not forget to pray for God’s direction and happiness in your family. He will do wonders for you.