For Women- How to Keep Your Relationship (2)

What is his turn off?

Just as a lot of things move a man about his woman, there are also things that turn him off from her.

Poor Home Maintenance Skills: In our modern age, it is not news anymore to see women who can’t cook, wash or clean their houses. They depend solely on house helps and cooks. In some homes this has caused real problems as the men start to get attracted to the house helps and eventually start sleeping with them. There are also issues of helps stealing, arranging with kidnappers or media journalists who need stories for their TV programs or paper publications. If this happens, you and your family will no longer have secrets and neither will you feel safe.

I once worked at a school where I met a wonderful couple. The man knew very well that he didn’t want house helps of any kind because he didn’t trust them. He eats only food cooked by his wife except when they attend parties.

When they were about to get married, he told his wife that no matter what challenges they face, house helps are off limits. The wife agreed and soon they got married.

Now you will ask, when the babies started to roll in, how did the woman cope? I will tell you how. Her husband gives her the best of his support. He cooks, he washes and most times when she was sick, he cleaned the entire house. On a normal day, when she is strong, he still assists because he believes the work should be shared. He did not marry a slave; he married the woman he loves.

This is no criteria for a woman to lack skills in home maintenance because there certainly will be days when your man wouldn’t be able to help, so what happens then?

Looking Un-kept: If there is anything men hate the most, it is seeing their women looking so un-kept.

It is wrong for a woman to go on for almost a whole day without bathing or brushing all in the name of too much work to do or just being lazy. And even after bathing, you wear something that makes you look like a woman from the 40s, your hair is scattered, your nails are un-kept etc. this will make him run away. Before you two got together, you always looked good and smelt nice so what happened over night to make you look like his maid? Even maids will dress better.

Lies / Gossip: If you take a look at places where men are gathered for a drink, you would know that some men are serious gossipers. The funny thing is that these same men hate it when their wives or girl friends start to gossip too or keep friends that gossip. I am the only female child my parents have and so I have just brothers, three of them. Because of that, I happen to have more male friends. Now I noticed that although these guys gossip a lot, it is MOSTLY, I DIDN’T SAY ALWAYS, mostly on the positive side or from an analytic point of view, but with a few of my female acquaintances, gossiping is mostly on the negative / criticizing point of view. They could use their words to tear down the strongest person in the world or make the entire neighborhood hate that person. It is for this reason that men do not like their women to gossip or make friends with gossipers. They know these women are just there tearing down another person’s image. That is why if a guy was going to ask you out and he sees you with a group of female friends, he will turn and run for his life, especially if they are gossipers.

Totally Dependent: No man values a woman who is totally dependent on him for her every need. Common girls!!! What happened to your pride? I don’t see why any woman or young lady from the age of 18 and above should depend totally on people for their needs. A woman’s total financial dependence is a big turn off for a man even if he is as rich as Bill Gates. He will tag you as classless, brainless and useless.

Nagging: Nobody, both male and female, likes to be reminded about something continually especially when it is done in a scolding manner. If you are a nag, just know that your nagging will not help issues; it will only bring you quarreling and disagreement.

Materialistic: In this age and time, most women are highly materialistic. When a man knows that he has a woman who is materialistic he fears for what will happen to the relationship should anything happen to his financial status. Will she leave him? Or will she manage with him until things get better? The truth is that there are women who will stay with their men but a man will not think so. That’s judging a book by its cover. What we do outwardly tells people who we are inwardly but most times, our actions misrepresent our true inner self.

Another spoiler is that women who are materialistic do not know how to spend carefully. What if your man is the type that wants you two to save reasonably for your child’s trust fund as well as for the raining day? How would you do it?

Poor Performance on Bed: If you two make out the first time and it didn’t turn out quite well, you work towards making it better next time. But in a situation where no effort is made on the part of the woman, the man gets tired and starts to look for other means to satisfy himself. Most often, this could lead to him watching porn. At this point if you get mad at him, you are wasting your time. A man will hardly think of porn if his woman is giving him the satisfaction he needs in spicy ways.

Now don’t get this wrong. Some men are still serial cheats and no matter how great you are on bed they will still look outside. But in the case of poor performance, when you confront him, he may use your poor sex performance as an excuse.  That’s what I call turning the tables.

I once had a lecturer in my University days that started to sleep with some of the campus girls because his wife was not only poor in bed; she mostly refused to let him touch her. The man got so frustrated. He was close to my best friend so one day while we were in his office, she asked him why he was sleeping around with the girls and also told him that it was giving him a bad name in the school. It was then he talked about his wife and her attitude towards sex. He never thought he would go on sleeping about with different women but his wife succeeded in pushing him into their hands and he felt trapped in such a life.

Lack of Respect: Men have very huge egos that can easily be destroyed. If a woman lacks respect for her man, be rest assured that he would go out to another woman who would give it to him. Men usually feel insecure if you constantly laugh at or look down on their masculine strength. If you do this, you are indirectly telling him he is useless to you and soon, he would walk away to someone who sees him as useful.

These are some of the major things that turn off a man’s attraction to his woman. Now, what are you going to do?