Five Years, No Commitment

Love, they say, is life
But what they didn't say, is 
If it gives life, or takes it away.
I pick up my phone to read meaningful posts
Some are humorous, 
Some are annoying
Others are scary
She dumped me, one of the post title read
She called off our five years relationship
After everything I did for her
I'm so hurt
Then the comments poured in.
Your ex is wicked
She has found greener pastures
She never loved you
Move on bro, she's not good for you
But a reasonable few ask
Five years? Seriously?
Did you work towards marriage?
Or was she just for girlfriend alone?
How serious were you with her?
I sigh, and sit back
Shaking  my head at most comments
I nod at others as I reason
She was with him, five years
Yet no promise of marriage.
I remembered my own experience
Five years plus, we were together
Five years plus he said he was into me
Five years plus I still had my doubts
And although I doubted his honesty with me
I ignored the signs.
He will change, I said
He will get to really love me
I was never a pest to his pocket
95% of the time,
I paid my own bills
Not like I had it surplus
But I didn't care about his money
I told off anyone who saw bad signs with him
Leave my man alone, he's not what you say he is.
Five years plus
The it happened, 
One night, 
After I asked, over whatsapp chat
Dear, we're five years plus, I'm not getting younger
Where's our relationship headed?
He responded, I want to be truthful
I don't see us going anywhere
Its better we even end it now
So you can say yes to any serious guy that comes around
I'm shocked - mouth agape
But why? What have I done?
Nothing dear
I just feel I've kept you for too long
My heart raced
So you never felt anything for me?
I do feel something for you
But be real, all relationships must not lead to marriage
A series of arguments follow.
We end the chat with goodbye
I didn't sleep that night.
I had been loyal
I was never a pest to his pocket
I had taken him as my own
The man I was ready to sacrifice everything for
But he had taken me as nothing but a five years fling
Only to contact me a few month later, saying
I really miss you
Miss indeed
I sigh, letting go of the past
I look at the comments again and shake my head
Then I smile
The girlfriend was way smarter than me
Or, unlike me, she listened to advice from family and friends 
She must have  seen the signs
They must have seen the signs
After five years, her guy had not proposed or mentioned marriage
Why then should she remain with him?
What's the guarantee that he wouldn't dump her afterwards
What's the guarantee she won't cry later
It was better she moved on, than wait for doomsday
My dear sisters
6 months to at least, 2 years, is enough
If between this time, he doesn't bring up marriage, 
If he doesn't talk about it
If he doesn't meet your people to make his intentions known
If he doesn't spend quality time with you regularly
If he only comes to visit because something important brought him to your locality
Then run
Move away
Don't look back
Avoid future hurts and heartbreaks
Relationship is give and take
You can't keep giving and he keeps taking
For the men who go through this same thing
If you were really serious with her
Even visited her family to let them know
You want her for keeps
But she still walked away
Then move on
Life is too short 
We can't spend it regretting past mistakes
Instead, we spend it moving on
Breaking down obstacles
And achieving our dreams
A word, they say is enough for the wise

Good morning

Note: this is not a poem. Its just the best way I could express myself this morning.

Writing is not just a hobby for me, its first a passion and then a business. Join me at

Twitter: @karooforofuo
and facebook -