This Is For Every Lady Who Wants To Experience A Happy Marriage. by Toks200
I came across a post with the above title on nairaland. After reading number one I nearly ran for help. I asked out loud, to no one in particular "seriously?"
Please read. Where ever you stop is where I stopped.
"I have seen many marriages break up and it seems there is a common ground for disintegration. Today I will be as real as usual and it will be in the best interest of any married lady or intending wife to take this piece seriously.
If you are a married lady reading this I want you to understand that these 3 facts are essential for you to experience a happy union.
1. Expect your hubby to cheat on you: I have heard many times that not all men cheat and I sincerely believe but nevertheless, to be on the safer side, expect that man to cheat on you.
By having this expectation, you will not be caught unaware and you would have developed a psychological shock absorber in the advent that he does but if he remains faithful to you then good for you. It is totally foolish for a lady to hinge her marital happiness on her husband's fidelity."
So yes, that's where I stopped, just in case there's more of the above in the rest of the article.
"EXPECT your hubby to cheat on you".
The above quote is the problem men and women have today. Uncontrolled thinking. You think all sort of things. You expect all sort of things, good or bad. Then when they happen, you cry fowl.
I am very observant. I even observe myself. Now through observations over the years, I have come to understand that the mind is truly our heaven or hell. The choice is ours. Just as our words are powerful, our thoughts are powerful. Whatever we think, we draw to us.
I have noticed that certain things I once thought about, strongly, did come to pass in my life. Those thoughts that were mere flashes in my mind; those thought that I didn't allow rent land and build their castles in my mind, never happened. It is one thing for a thought to flash through your head, and another to allow a particular thought rule your mind.
As you THINK, so shall it be for you.
I have come across men who know the meaning of the word faithful. They don't only know it, they practice it. Why then should we settle for a cheat by first accepting his cheating in our minds?
If the man was a good man; a faithful one, my bad thoughts will create a circumstance for him to cheat and he will. Because I let it dominate my thought.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that there are no men who cheat. I'm saying you should not allow negative thoughts. Do not encourage it. Your positive vibes will do you more good.
I once read a story of a woman from Norman Vincent Peale's book, Sin, Sex and Self-Control.
The woman had a cheating husband who would then go out and get drunk in the local bar.
She was furious with him. But she later learnt, from Dr. Norman, that getting furious was not the answer. She learnt that although her husband's situation was not her doing, her thoughts had aided the behaviour in going on longer than it should. Why?
1. Because she was always angry at him.
2. Because after his bad attitude started, she always expected him to come home drunk. To her, it had become normal. Her thought was wired to see him drunk and with other women. She always expected it and it continued. but after she met with Norman Vincent Peale, he told her to change her mindset and work on it continuously until she could see, feel and touch the result of her mental work. She did.
She started to see, in her mind's eyes, her husband home earlier than usual. She would picture him sitting at his favourite spot reading the news paper or watching TV. He was not drunk in her thoughts, neither was he cheating on her. She liked the new image she was creating for him and she continued until step by step, it started to materialize. She stopped nagging or scolding him or quarreling endlessly with him. Because of the new picture she had of him, she started to treat him nicely again. With time, things changed. Her husband was mostly home, reading the news paper or watching the news. He apologized to her about his bad ways and quit them. No more drinking or womanizing, or coming home late.
1. She though positively
2. She stopped fighting, therefore not giving him any good reason to avoid her or seek comfort elsewhere.
3. Her positive thoughts helped her treat her husband better and he noticed it.
4. He regretted his own actions after he realized what a wonderful wife he had.
My point is, CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. Use them to pull only positive things to yourself. My dear married and unmarried ladies, please, don't go about expecting to have a cheating husband. If you do, you're creating the atmosphere for him to do so. And if he already is fond of cheating, you're aiding him to do you more harm.
This goes for the men too. Don't go about expecting your wife to be bad. She will, if you aid her with such thoughts.
Please guard your thoughts and mind what you accept.
A word, they say, is enough for the wise.